Wondering how to stop feeling overwhelmed? In our always-on, busy-glorifying society, it’s clear feeling overwhelmed is a universal struggle. So too is the self-inflicted pressure we put on ourselves.

 

Perfectionism, defined as “as a combination of excessively high personal standards and overly critical self-evaluations”, is officially on the rise , according to the Wellness Society. Growing perfectionistic tendencies have been identified as a key driver of depression and anxiety in millennials.

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When you feel overwhelmed from both external and internal pressures, it’s like you’re signalling to your brain that your demands outweigh your resources. Your brain interprets this as danger, and you risk triggering the ‘fight, flight, or freeze’ stress response. If this goes on long enough, you might start experiencing physical symptoms of anxiety (such as breathing difficulties, heart palpitations and IBS), as well as low mood and energy.

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The key to preventing this is to develop your mental wellbeing skills. Without these skills, you might find yourself resorting to your natural instinct: do nothing and withdraw. (Remember: it’s called the fight, flight, or freeze response.) Recognizing your tendency to freeze when overwhelmed is the first step in developing a helpful response strategy. Once you know you’re in the stress response, you can ... decide what to do next.

 

Here are four ways to stop feeling overwhelmed:

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Cultivate the one-focus mindset​​

When you first notice yourself feeling overwhelmed, you can use the ‘STOP technique’ to help you focus on just one thing at a time. This video explains the  STOP (Stop - Take a breath - Observe - Proceed) Technique 

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Adopt the Can-Control Mindset

Studies show that when we adopt a can-control mindset, we see meaningful and lasting differences in our wellbeing, health and performance. When you notice thoughts about factors outside your control, practice shifting your attention to what you can control. 

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Develop a relaxation habit

If you regularly feel overwhelmed and have developed ongoing physical anxiety symptoms, relaxation is key to feeling better. To understand why, we need to delve into the science of what’s happening in your body.

The ‘fight, flight or freeze’ stress response is triggered by a part of your nervous system whose job it is to control your automatic functions (e.g., your breathing, heartbeat, and digestive processes). This part of your nervous system is called the autonomic nervous system (ANS). Your ANS is split into two branches: the sympathetic branch and the parasympathetic branch. These branches work opposite each other and only one can dominate at a time.

In chronic stress, your sympathetic nervous system goes into overdrive. This is what gives rise to all of the distressing physical sensations. To feel calmer, you need to balance the activity of your ANS by activating our parasympathetic nervous system (PNS, a.k.a., 'the relaxation response'). This demonstrates a highly important fact: rest and relaxation are productive! Adequate rest helps you be your healthiest self. When it comes to relaxation - and improving your mental wellbeing in general - different things work at different times for different people. It’s important to remember that relaxation is a skill. Finding it difficult to relax is incredibly common. Practice makes progress!

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Express your feelings

Finally, expressing your feelings is a powerful way to stop feeling overwhelmed. So powerful, it’s actually an in-built biological instinct. Research shows we release a hormone, oxytocin, that encourages us to seek social support during stressful times.